fading away

my mom has slowly been killing herself for years...and finally other people are seeing it...should I have tried harder to get people to see it sooner? I feel guilty that maybe I haven't done enough to try to help her...but then again, how much can one do to change the actions of another and how do you make others understand what they have little frame of reference for...I haven't even fully understood it because I never have the full picture either...I'm fairly certain I shared my concerns with a few people, but I don't think they quite understood it...I'm very grateful for all that my sister is doing...she's resourceful as well as being able to stay calm.......my stepdad has also slowly been killing himself...and today he checked into treatment...while I'm grateful that he has finally acknowledged his problem and is seeking help, I can't help but be slightly jealous...my sister and I and others have tried to steer my mom that way for 15 years...there's a chance she could finally be headed that way as well, but I have a hard time mustering up faith that it could happen until it actually does....I should probably be going to meetings again so that I could actually talk to others about it............